Diane Wolkstein - A Conversation with Thich Nhat Hanh

"I Have Arrived, I am Home"

A conversation with Thich Nhat Hanh & Diane Wolkstein for Parabola
(Winter 2006 – Volume 31, No. 4)

The 'Home' issue (Winter 2006) of Parabola Thich Nhat Hanh is a Zen Buddhist monk, a teacher, a poet, and the leader of the renowned Plum Village practice center which has branches in the United States and Europe. He is also the author of more than eighty books on Buddhist teachings, including novels, poetry, plays, and journals. In the 1960's, his deep desire for peace, reconciliation and a renewal of Buddhism led him to establish a school for social work and a Buddhist university in VietNam. However, because of his work as a peace activist, he was exiled from his country in 1966.

In the 1970's, Thich Nhat Hanh and his student, Chan Khong, lived in a small house near Paris where they worked for peace, sent help to Vietnamese refugees and self–published books on Buddhism. More and more people were drawn to help them in their work and stayed to practice Buddhism with them on weekends. After some years, the tiny quarters could not house the many eager practitioners. In 1982, they bought several old farmhouses on two pieces of land in southwest France, that they named Upper Hamlet and Lower Hamlet. The first summer one hundred people came to practice with them; the second summer there were two hundred people. The center came to be named Plum Village, and in the early years the children who came to practice contributed their money towards buying plum trees, whose fruit was sold to feed hungry children in VietNam. Now over 1,800 people attend the summer retreats, and monks, nuns, and laypeople live at Plum Village year round.

Plum Village is surrounded by beautiful farm country. It is quiet, peaceful, and rustic with very simple, basic comforts. Those who attend the retreats participate by working, attending dharma talks, engaging in sitting, walking, and tea (or lemonade) meditations, and being part of a small discussion group called a sangha that meets daily. In July and August, families are encouraged to attend; children are welcomed, and special attention is given to healing family relationships. Every other year, in June, there is a three–week intensive retreat for practitioners.

The following excerpt is from an interview which took place at Plum Village in the Lower Hamlet on June 20th, at the end of the 2006 retreat, The Breath of the Buddha.

DW:
Throughout the world, parents want to create a loving home for their children where they can thrive and be safe. What can parents do to create such a home?

TNH:
Parents need to take care of one another. You need to show your children that love is possible and that you are happy with each other. The most precious gift that parents can give to their children is their own happiness. If you live like that, then the children will feel at home. When the children grow up, they will naturally know how to take care of the other person. Parents need to learn how to look at one another, truly look, and to listen deeply to one another. To speak honestly and gently. That is essential for family happiness.

If something does not feel right between you, it is important to choose a good moment, when you are relaxed and at ease, and to speak gently. "I feel there is something not quite right. I may have upset you. Please tell me what is troubling you so we can have a good relationship." "I can see you are suffering. I want to help you. How can I help?"

DW:
You recently spoke about the importance of simplicity for monastics in creating a harmonious environment. At Plum Village the monastics have three changes of clothing, an eating bowl, and a little pocket money. That is all their belongings.

You said that too many comforts can be a danger to remaining mindful. In our western world, and in other parts of the world as well, people seem to believe that by acquiring more comforts, they will have happier homes. Simplicity in our home life would also seem to be an important ingredient toward happiness.

TNH:
By putting energy into acquiring more, people lose the time they might have to live to enjoy what is available, to love, to take care of themselves and those around them. You are happier when your life is simpler. When your life is simpler, you can treasure your moments. But sometimes people consume because they are afraid to be alone. It is a question to ask. "What am I running from?"

Our practice begins with the self. Taking good care of the self. Embracing the self — our fears, concerns, angers, worries as well as our peace and joy. So we sit mindfully, we walk mindfully. We drink tea mindfully. We eat mindfully. We chop carrots mindfully. We become good friends with the self. Each time our fears arise, we welcome them. We welcome all our feelings and emotions, happy, sad, fearful. We find peace and happiness within our selves. We let go of who we should be or who we want anyone else to be. It is a slow process. Only when we are friends with our selves can we then take care and love another. And to love another takes deep looking, deep caring, deep listening. It takes time. A home is formed with care and love.

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